And then he exploded TWICE!
by Vio Lenouch
Summary: Sonic is sick of dying over and over again in fanfics.  He makes this known to Tails, who doesn't quite understand Sonic's... unique ... way of thinking.


_Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Sonic the Hedgehog. Everything belongs to Sega._

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><p><em>"TAILS!"<em> The screech rang out through the building as a blue whirlwind tackled the small fox. "They killed me! They killed me, Tails! They ripped off my legs and _killed_ me! _Why_?"

Tails stared at Sonic. "Sonic... They do that because they like you...?" He stammered, not knowing how to react to this statement from his friend.

"But still! That's... That's so _sick!_ They killed me, Tails! How do you kill the hero?" Sonic let go of Tails in a hurry, glancing around suspiciously. "It's horrible! We have to do something!"

"Um, Sonic. Just stay of the site if you don't want to read it. It's actually really simple." Tails continued to try to reason with Sonic, who wasn't listening. At all. But then again, Tails was sort of used to that because that was Sonic the Hedgehog in a nutshell.

"That's a great idea, little buddy! I'm gonna go write the best Sonic story ever! Tails, you'll read it when I'm done, okay? You're the best friend ever!" The hedgehog exclaimed before darting of again.

Tails wondered exactly what he had unleashed upon the world before wondering where Sonic had gotten the idea to actually write a story. Shrugging it off, he sighed before going back to work. Sonic was probably listening to the voices in his head again.

A nagging worry of what would happen if Sonic actually wrote something crept into his mind, but he ignored it. What was the worst that could happen?

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><p>Two days later, he found out.<p>

"Tails! I finished my totally awesome story!" Sonic announced, coming out of nowhere to drop a stack of papers on Tails' workspace, causing the fox to raise an eyebrow.

"Sonic… How did you even write all of this? This is huge…!" The fox mumbled, glancing at the title page.

Large printed words announcing 'THE BEST STORY EVER' stared back at him, along with a note in the corner that said, 'Sonic, you're an idiot. Go die. From, Shadow.'

Tails really wasn't surprised.

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><p>"Sonic, wasn't Knuckles chained down by poisonous ropes with blades in them and had a deadly poison injected into him?" The fox asked, glancing at what Sonic had dubbed, 'THE BEST STORY EVER.'<p>

The blue hedgehog waved a hand absently. "Honestly, Tails. I'm so amazing that that type of stuff doesn't happen."

"O-okay, Sonic..."

"And then I zoomed by in a streak of, err... rainbow fire! Yeah! Rainbow fire sounds right! And then I grabbed Knuckles from the clutches of Dr. Eggman, cause I'm amazing like that! And he wasn't even hurt at all, even though the odds were against us!"

"What about the man eating snakes and Chaos?" Tails asked, glancing over the copy of the story that Sonic had given him, a horrified look on his face as he stared at all the misspellings and grammar errors.

"Tails! You're missing the point! Weren't you listening to me at all? I was so fast that I just whipped by and grabbed Knuckles and hauled him to safety before anything bad happened!" The hedgehog protested, his green eyes glinting with something Tails could easily call madness.

Tails decided to not reply and instead shook his head before looking back at the papers in his hand as the hedgehog continued to go on.

"In fact, I was so amazing that Knuckles was like, 'I'll stop being a complete and utter gullible jerk from now on because your awesomeness changed how view life!' and I was like, 'I know, right!' And then I went and I whipped Eggman again and dumped Knuckles off to Angel Island-" Sonic's rambling was it short by Tails.

"Sonic. It says 'Angle Island' here. What on earth is 'Angle Island'?"

"Tails! Missing. The. Point! Honestly!"

Shadow decided to speak up. "Sonic, this is the worst piece of literature I have ever read. Hell, it can't be considered literature. It's more like what would happen if some god decided that they were going to take all the abominations of the world and cram them into one piece of writing just to screw with us."

"What are you doing in my house, Shadow?" The enraged shriek from Sonic caused the Ultimate Life Form and the kitsune to cover their ears in pain.

"You invited me, Faker." Shadow spat, narrowing his eyes, his ears flattening against his head.

"Well, I hope you die!" Sonic hissed, lunging at Shadow. The black hedgehog easily sidestepped Sonic.

The black hedgehog decided that any attempt at him being civil around the hedgehog who was obviously out of his mind was useless. "I hope you get cancer, Sonic."

"Shadow!" Tails said, rubbing at his temples. "You don't say things like that! That's horrible!"

Sonic seemed to agree with this statement, as he stared at Shadow. "That's not funny. Seriously. I never knew you were such an ass." A pause. "I mean, Eggman isn't even that horrible."

"Perhaps I wasn't clear enough earlier, Sonic. I hope you get kidney cancer, lung cancer, thyroid cancer, stomach cancer, brain cancer..." The Ultimate Life Form continued to mumble things that sounded like they would come from a homeless man as Tails tried to defuse the situation.

Flipping to the last page, Tails tried to brace himself for what would undoubtedly be something absolutely horrible as an ending. He would do this - if only to focus Sonic's attention back on him. The fox took a deep breath.

"And then... And then Sonic was..." Tails trailed off for a second. What was this? "Sonic was run over by a parade float..? And then he exploded... _TWICE_?"

The blue hedgehog switched his attention to Tails. "I know, it's awesome! Right?"

"...Sonic. What exactly _was_ that?"

The blue hedgehog looked away for a second. "Err, it's when you explode. And then you explode again. Everyone knows that! Its like if you explode once, then you need to explode again because stuff like that happens and it's cool!"

"To prove a point against killing yourself in stories... you killed yourself. I don't see the point in this, Sonic."

"Well..." The hedgehog looked away again, focusing his gaze on the wall. "It needed to be about twenty percent more awesome, I guess."

.

.

_fin._


End file.
